Two People, One Decision
We found the right RV for our adventure… or so we thought.
It’s funny how differently Krissy and I think. I know we’re not the only couple like this, but we definitely make decisions differently. We did couples therapy for a while to work on our communication, and honestly, it was eye-opening just to see how each other’s minds work.
For example—when Krissy randomly asks, “Want to go out to dinner?” my brain immediately goes into logistics mode. I have to replan the meals for the week, make sure I’m not wasting food, check if I can still get everything done for the night and get enough sleep. It’s not that I don’t want to go—it just takes me a few minutes to rearrange the puzzle pieces in my head.
Meanwhile, Krissy makes decisions quickly and trusts things will fall into place. By the time my brain catches up and I say, “Okay, let’s go,” she’s already assumed I didn’t want to—and she’s disappointed. Therapy gave us the words to explain that difference: she moves fast; I just need time to process.
If that’s how small decisions go, you can imagine what big ones are like.
I’m someone who often knows what I don’t want more than what I do. I also care more about making Krissy happy than about being the one to decide. Krissy, on the other hand, is amazing at doing research, gathering all the details, and then going with her gut in the end.
So, what does all this have to do with the RV?
We agreed we wouldn’t buy one for another year—we just wanted to start researching. Our old 1991 Winnebago was loud, and since Krissy hates noise, she decided to test-drive a few options to compare gas vs. diesel and different sizes.
The first test drive was a 35-foot gas RV. It drove beautifully but was still a bit noisy. Then, while I was away on a solo trip, Krissy checked out a 40-foot diesel pusher. She couldn’t drive it that day, but she fell in love with it instantly. The deal was sealed when she saw the brand was a Beaver and named it The Beaver.
When I got home, we went for a test drive together—and it really did feel like home. The kitchen island, the skylight—it was cozy and comfortable. And when we drove it, it was so quiet. It just felt right.
We got our finances in order and made it ours for the long haul—or so we thought. Check out our You Tube Video with a tour of The Beaver, and one on why we bought early and lastly why we changed our mind.
A few weeks later, we took it out for its maiden voyage. Thankfully, we stayed close to home because one of the leveling feet broke the first time we tried to use it. With the help of a kind camping neighbor, we got it high enough to get back home safely.
That’s when we started the real research—the kind we didn’t know we needed to do. Turns out, diesel repairs are harder to find, much more expensive, and not YouTube-friendly do it yourself jobs. Plus, 40-foot RVs are harder to fit into many campgrounds and are often restricted in National Parks.
Here’s where our decision-making styles clashed again.
I wanted to stick with our choice and work through the problems. We knew a used RV would have quirks, and I figured we’d just deal with them. Krissy, on the other hand, took in all the new information and said, “Maybe we sell it and find something that fits us better long-term.”
So here we are—putting our communication and compromise skills into action again. What’s best for us now? In a few years? For the many adventures ahead?
It’s not easy when you think so differently. But this experience has shown me that decisions can change—and that’s okay.
Here’s to years of compromise and learning to meet in the middle.
How do you and your partner make big decisions? Do you lead with your gut or your brain?
💛
Anne