A Backyard Full of Strangers, All Loving the Same People
This past weekend, after a year’s worth of planning and organizing, we had a farewell party for our friends Nori and Marilee. They are heading to Vilamoura, Quartiera, Portugal, and it has not been an easy process for them to get here. They decided that they needed to escape the political environment in the US right now. Sunday, Marilee took off with the two dogs to drive across the country to catch a plane for special dog travel. At the end of this week, Nori and their two sons will be flying out of Denver. They will randomly be arriving within a few hours of each other.
Back in January, the four of us — Stacey, Ann, Krissy, and I — asked Nori and Marilee if they wanted a farewell party. They took the time to think about it and decided that they did not want a party or gathering. I totally understand this decision. In general, I am not a big fan of large groups and parties. I always feel like I don’t get to have true conversations, and I am so focused on making sure people are settled and comfortable.
As the visas finally got approved and the date got closer, they found themselves having many side trips and gatherings to say goodbye to friends and family. With all the time filled with moving, organizing, and selling, there just wasn’t enough time. They came back to us a few weeks ago and asked for the party back. Here again, contradictorily, I get it. I would want to see all of these people again before I left.
It was so wonderful to see all the love at the party. Nori and Marilee were so thankful and enjoyed having the time to see people, express their love, share their plans, and say goodbye. Good times, good food, good people, and good memories.
What a weird feeling as a host, though. I love these people, and I am sad, but I don’t know the majority of the people there. It is different to host people that you know will not be in your life after the gathering. It is also surreal that after such a long time of them planning and us helping them, it is now finally time for them to leave.
At the same time, I know that this is not goodbye, but farewell for now. Thank goodness for FaceTime and text messages.
This process with our friends has made me consider what I think about goodbye parties and whether we would want to have one when we hit the road. One of the questions that comes up for me is this: does this help us or the people saying goodbye? I don’t think it would necessarily help us because the time can seem superficial in that setting, but yet it also gives us a chance to see people we do not regularly see.
Generally, I see it as a marker in time — a closing chapter and acknowledgment of an era. The true goodbyes will happen in smaller, intimate settings and in the next conversations, texts, and visits we share. But the party itself becomes the goodbye to a season of life.
What do you think about goodbyes? Would you want a party? Who would you invite?
Here is to “see you later” and not farewell.
Anne
